Textures #29

ask yourself: ‘what did i accomplish today?’ if the answer is anything but half true, you will have accomplished the equivalent of a dinosaur’s entire existence in the space of a millisecond. if the answer is fully true, those accomplishments will have meant nothing to you, or so you think. they will be routine tasks such as: brushing your teeth, using your depth perception to observe the trees outside your window, asking yourself a question you already know the answer to, eating a cookie. now, imagine a motherfucking T-Rex trying to eat a cookie or brush its teeth. there you go. ask yourself again: ‘what did i accomplish today?’ think hard. now, think harder. go beyond the default mode and see what’s around YOU. understand what’s inside of YOU. today, i saw my perfect as a sunrise in summer face in the mirror. today, i tasted some finger licking, delicious as fuck raspberries that i bought with some shit called money. today, i looked at the utterly, despairingly bored and tired of life people on the tube and i saw them. each and every one of them. i invented stories about all of them that are probably not true but also not impossible. there was dylan, who works at an advertising company and is having a crappy week because he can’t come up with a witty yet non-offensive idea to sell 3% sugar sweetener to stay at home mums, ‘for that morning fix without the guilt’; ‘oh! but it sounds so banale and disrespectful to women!’ he grunts, and then he thinks about his mother and how he’s pretty sure she’d buy it because even though she hates the taste of aspartame she would not be caught dead drinking anything without ‘diet’ in the name. but enough about dylan, he was cute. anyway, i expressed my kindness to all of them by letting them push me and stab me in the eyes with their anger; i let their despair glide off me like brilliant, fragrant oil. i wished them well quietly as they got off at their stop, and then i said thank you and have a nice day to the tfl employees standing at the turnstiles. i chose to experience life in its wakeful infinite novelty. i chose to dig deeper, until i got to the marrow inside the bone. gently, i sucked the succulent meat and absorbed the irresistible knowledge that I, am alive.


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